


Operation: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

by Buffologist



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Arthur Christmas (2011), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Christmas Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 16:00:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5503922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buffologist/pseuds/Buffologist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On Christmas Eve presents are given to every child... but this year, A CHILD HAS BEEN MISSED! </p><p>Steve is determined to make sure that this child receives her gift by Christmas morning but Tony and Howard are too busy and seem to be missing out on the true spirit of Christmas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Arthur Christmas AU - written quickly for a friend recovering from surgery. (Not betad)  
> If you've seen Arthur Christmas you'll recognise all of this, if you haven't I urge you to watch it! (Before my crowbarring of Marvel characters into it ruins it for you!)  
> Credit for the dialogue and plot goes solely to the script writers, basically, we got drunk and decided that we needed an Arthur Christmas/Avengers AU. So this happened.

_Dear Santa,_  
_Are you real? If you live at the North Pole, how come I can't see your house when I look on Google Earth? Are you Saint Nicholas? 'Cause you'd be incredibly old. How do you have time_  
_to read all the letters from all the children in the world? And how many cookies and mince pies have you eaten in all of history? How do you get all of the presents in the sack? Does your sack have to get bigger every year, 'cause of exponential population growth?_

 _And how do you get down the chimneys? I put my head in ours, and it's really small, even if you could squeeze down in 1 minute. And there's 9 houses in my village, so that's nearly 10 minutes,_  
_and there are millions of loads in the world. It must be so hard being Santa these days._

 _I mean, what if, after all of that, I'm staying at Grandma's? Santa, how can you get 'round the whole world in just one night? My friend said, that you'd have to go so fast, it would make you,_  
_and the sleigh, and the reindeer, all burn up! I think you are real, but how do you do it?_

 _For Christmas, I would love a pink twinkle-bike with stabilizers. But, please, don't bring it_  
_if it makes you and the reindeer burn._

 _Love,_  
_Gwen Hines._  
_23 Mimosa Avenue_  
_Trelew, Cornwall, England._

_Dear Gwen,_  
_Thank you for your letter and, brilliant picture. Your request for a pink twinkle-bike will be_  
_passed on to Santa. And, yes, we do believe in Santa. He is real. He's the greatest man ever,_  
_and he can get around the world to every child without a single reindeer being ~~roasted alive~~ hurt._  
_By the time the sun comes up on Christmas day he'll get to you too using his special **magic.**_

 

 

On a crisp Christmas Eve over Denmark there’s a change in the air.  A hush falls over the town and in that moment of perfect stillness a thousand pinpricks of light blaze into being and ropes fall from the sky… elves!

“First field elf battalion set! Field elves, jingle. Jingle! Jingle! Drop-time: 18.14 seconds  
per household.”

Tiny elves, all dressed in matching uniforms descend from the sky.  Gift wrapped toys and games carefully carried to their recipients.  An old man in a red and white suit is guided carefully up a ladder.

“Left foot, sir.  Right foot, sir. That's it.”

The elf in front whips out a piece of tech and scans the electronic lock, it beeps quietly once and admits them.

“Marvellous! Gets me every time.” Santa enthuses, gazing around the room absently. 

“Ahem?” the elf nervously clears this throat, gesturing to the present he is holding out to Santa with his eyes.   
“Oh! Sorry. Ha ha.” Santa takes the gift and carefully puts it in place under the tree.  Then, in reverse of their entrance, the elves guide him back down the ladder and then up to the camouflaged ship lurking above the town.  The ship covers the whole sky above the town, its only if you look very very carefully that you could see the edges where the sky begins to be projected in a perfect copy of that resting above. 

  
“Drop complete. Standby S-1.” The elf speaks into his comms unit.   “Santa has left the building!”

Many miles away at S.L.E.I.G.H. central command, The North Pole, a brunette man wearing a smart red and gold uniform, goatee neatly trimmed into the shape of a Christmas Tree stands in front of a huge array of monitors.  Gathering intel and directing operations.  “North Pole to S-1: You have weather fluctuation. Update camouflage.”  
“Roger that, control.” His words are acknowledged by the crew on the ship. 

 _Pole suggestion optimized - Denmark cleared. Next drop: Flensburg, minus 12.4 seconds_. An electronic voice carries over all.   _Converting milk and cookies to biofuel._ The AI system announced.    


The door to the bridge on the ship opens suddenly.  “Hello? Oh! Ah!” Santa quickly steps through before they close again.   
_Santa on bridge.  
_ “Sorry. Forgot the PIN code.” He muttered in response to the stares from the elves surrounding him.   
“Uh, we just crossed into Germany, sir.” The elf in charge hesitantly informed him.  _  
_ “Germany? Huh. So many countries these days.”  
“It's a big night, sir.”  
“My, uh,” He had to pause for a moment and think, “70th mission. Yes.” _  
_ “So, you looking forward to it? Retirement?”  
_Ten seconds to Flensburg_.

Far away in the control room the man in red and gold paced the floor, barking commands as he went.  “Update national protocol. Delete rice pudding and carrot. German "leave-out" for Santa is  
shoe upon step. S-1, hold drop altitude. This is Germany, father. Drive on the right. National dish: sausage. OK. Let's show them, people!  Operation "Santa Claus is Coming to Town".”

Again, the process repeated itself.  The elves dropped to the earth bearing their gifts and went around making sure that each child’s stocking was filled.   
“Drop complete!”  “Drop Complete!”  
Again, Santa was carefully guided through the process by his attendant elves.   
 “Drop complete!”  “Drop Complete!”

_Operational efficiency: 100%_

The doors at the top of the control room opened and there stood a short, frail looking man, with blond hair, blue eyes and look of wonder on his face.  In front of him descended ranks of desks forming an amphitheatre surrounding the largest screens of all.   
“Wow!”  He gazed around the control room with his eyes wide.  He never got tired of the sight of thousands of elves lined up at their consoles directing operations with the giant screens arrayed all around feeding back information from around the world on this, their busiest night of the year. 

“What are you doing in here, Steve?” He looked down to see one of the elves picking up a loose letter that had fluttered to the ground before him. 

“I've got to get this letter from Maria Costa down to Tony. Oh, no! Maria!” The letter he was grasping slipped from his fingers and floated down several levels to land below.  He could see Tony far below, red and gold suit in place. 

“Whoops. Bye-bye, Maria.” Snarked the elf. 

“Is this yours, Steve?” An elf on a floating platform hovered into view gesticulating with the escaped letter.   
“Thanks, Jasper. Merry Christmas!” Steve grinned as he took the letter back from the elf to join the pile of other missives in his hands.   
“You want a ride, Steve?” questioned the elf, gesturing to the platform below him.  
“No. Thanks. I'm not very good with heights and speed.” Steve shrugged helplessly.  His small stature and host of health issues meant that there was very little he could do but he refused to let that stop him from doing his best to help the Christmas operation.  It was a family business after all. 

“Buckle down, people! Buckle down!” Tony stood tall over the elves giving him a commanding presence “Pepper!” He called and an elegant elf in a business suit appeared in front of him.   
“Ready, sir.”  
“SitRep on Special Forces. Where are they?” Tony asked.   
“America, sir. White House, sir. Delivering to the President's children, sir.” With an efficient swipe on her electronic pad Pepper called up the team’s body cams showing the interior of the White House on the screen nearest to them.   
“Okay, team. Left out of the Oval Office, right at the cabinet room, second floor, by the air vents.” Tony reeled off the directions.   
“You think of everything, sir.” Pepper simpered.   
“Thank you, Pepper. I'd love an espresso.” Tony said, focus already shifting to the next drop point.   
“Coming right up!” Pepper melted away into the crowd and almost instantly returned, presenting a fresh cup of espresso to Tony.  
“What a night, sir! Out with the old Santa, in with the new, eh?” she remarked.   
“Well, I... Let's focus on the now. Eh, Pepper? Support teams, prep Poland.”  
“Wow! Poland! Do you know what they call Dad here? wity Mikoaj!” Steve’s slight form appeared behind Tony, who winced in realisation that his brother had entered Mission Control. 

  
Steve tried to make his way down towards Tony but he kept slipping and sliding, knocking into things and tripping over elves on his way.   
“I'm really sorry, Tony. It's my Christmas slippers on the ice. They're from China!” He pointed at his feet, which were covered in monstrous fuzzy slippers with flashing googly eyes.  If looked at in the right light, while drunk, you might think they resembled reindeer.   
Steve panted as he slid towards his elder brother across the ice, gaudy Christmas jumper clearly marking him out as an outsider.  “I found it.” He flapped a piece of paper in front of Tony’s face.   
“What?” Tony frowned in confusion.  He did not have time to deal with Steve’s inconsequential problems right now, they were in the middle of their most critical mission.   
“The letter. You know? The one I said, from Maria Costa. She asked for a pocket puppy, but she really wants the blue one, 'cause it looks like her auntie's dog Biffo that ran away. I remember, 'cause she sent a picture of Biffo. See?” He thrust the letter at Tony who flinched away.  Steve knew he didn’t like to be handed things.   
“Uh, child 3G7X...”  Pepper materialised again pulling up the information “This was Greece, sir! Five countries ago, sir!”  
“Oh. Um... I just want it to be perfect for every kid.” Steve shrugged.  He loved working in Letters.  He got to hear from children all around the world and help to make their Christmas wishes come true. “Hey! There's Dad!” Steve waved frantically at the screen “Santa! Maria Costa, Dad! Did she get the blue one?” he hollered. Elves everywhere flinching as his call drowned out their comms. 

“Little bro, it's great to have you around. You... You bring a... a genuine aura... ...of seasonal positivity.” Tony was trying to be nice, he really was.  It wasn’t Steve’s fault that he was such a sickly child but as they had grown older Tony had found himself getting frustrated with the extra attention Steve always needed and they had drifted apart.   
“Thank you.” Steve smiled at the compliment.  Tony could tell he wasn’t getting it.   
“But could you... ...not be in Mission Control... at all? For the rest of the night?” Tony finally grit out through clenched teeth.   
“Oh. Um... ah... Yeah.  Ah, of course. Right. Sorry if I... uh...” Steve stuttered to a halt, realising that once again he was just getting in the way.  He hated being thought of as an inconvenience.  He would do anything to help Tony but he only ever seemed to make things worse for his brother.  He plastered a grin to his face and gestured around at the organised room, a few more letters slipped from his grasp and floated to the ground around him “Brilliant!” He called as he tried to make a graceful retreat from the awkward silence, backing towards the door.  He could hear the muttering from elves nearby.   
“They should put him somewhere out of harm's way. What? Like the South Pole?”

Suddenly an alarm blared forth, a red warning flashing on every screen around the room.  But it was too late, Steve was in the corridor and the doors slammed closed in front of him. 

“WAKER! We have a waker! And Santa's in there!” There was a sudden flurry of activity, elves all trying to figure out what had gone wrong.   “Code red. Repeat: Code red.”

A little boy sat up sleepily from his bed “Santa? Are you here?” he whispered, clutching his blanket to himself. 

“Tony...” Howard Santa whispered, from his hiding spot at the foot of the bed.   

“Hold on, father.” Tony tried to project an air or calm.  “Intel. Get me intel!” he hissed to the elves around him. 

“Santa's head seems to be resting on some sort of “Try Me" button, sir.” One of the elves piped up. “It's the "Quack Quack Moo Activity Farm", sir. It features 12 separate animal sounds and sings  
"Old MacDonald Had a Farm". The moment your father lifts his head, there'll be 10 seconds of constant "moo"ing.” The schematics for the toy appeared on screen. 

  
_Risk of "moo"ing: 98%_ The AI stated. 

  
“Captain Moreno.” Tony addressed the elf accompanying Howard.  “You're going to have to take the batteries out.”

“But he'll have to get past the wrapping, the box, and 14 twist-ties anchoring it to the cardboard.”  
“It's too noisy!”  
“And you'll wake the boy!”  
“He'll see Santa!” A chorus of elves cried out from the control room. 

  
“And, at 1816, when Santa was seen, they tracked him home. He had to go into hiding. No Christmas for six years! The elves! All alone!” An elderly elf wailed from the rear of the room, panic swiftly filling the ranks of elves.   
“The elves? Alone?”  
“What are we going to do?”

“Calm down! It's not 1816 now.” Snapped Tony. “Moreno, your HOHO is equipped with state of the art EMF sensor technology hacked directly from the military's missile program.  I want you to locate the batteries and perform a level 3 gift-wrap incision. Go in through the robin.”

The elf nodded and squared his shoulders, preparing to make the incision.  “Incising robin.” He continued on and the whole room waited with baited breath.  “Twist-ties clear…”

 

“Big girl's blouse. Lot of fuss. I did my 70 missions without any of this malarkey! Didn't we, lad?” Peggy reached out to pet the decrepit reindeer sitting at her feet.  She had a blanket tucked around her legs and was watching the evening’s events on a large TV in front of her. 

“Can I watch with you, Peggy?” Steve slipped in through the door, skidding slightly in his slippers.

“Shut the door! Hell's bells, It’s the North Pole!” She huffed at him. 

“Is the kid still asleep? He mustn't see Santa! Dad would rather die than spoil it for him.” Steve settled on the floor at Peggy’s feet and she carelessly brushed her hand over his head in a forgetful gesture of affection.  She had always had a soft spot for him, his father and brother just didn’t know what to make of him but she recognised that spark in him. 

“What if you do wake the old nipper?” She groused. “A whack on the head with a sock full of sand and a dab of whiskey on the lips; they don't remember in the morning. What happened to going down the chimney? Never did me any...” She broke off her tirade as a fit of coughing overtook her and she gasped for breath.  “Get off me! Down, boy! Basket!” She shooed the old reindeer away from her. 

“Here you are, Peggy. I made you a nice mince pie.” Jarvis bustled into the room and handed over a plate with the mince pie resting upon it. 

“I can't eat that. It gets in me teeth.” She griped, then sneakily shoved a huge bite in her mouth when he wasn’t looking. 

“Oh, dear. Now, I've just got to visit the elf hospital, look over a treaty with Greenland, and make the gravy. Then we'll finally have the whole family home for Christmas.” Jarvis listed as he moved around the room, straightening and tidying as he went.  He had been with the family for ever taking care of them in a most efficient manner. 

“They're nearly done. Oh, no!” Steve gasped as the scene unfolded on the screen in front of them. Just as they all thought they were clear, Howard lifted his head off the present and a whirring started up. 

“It's the detachable milkmaid! She's got her own power source!  They've got 5 seconds 'til she starts singing!” Cried the elf in front of the schematics.  “Four! Three! Two! One!”

“Use your HOHO! Exit Code 12.” Tony shouted as the music started to play from the toy and the milk maid burst out.  #OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM.#

The elf quickly grabbed his HOHO and shone a bright light into the child’s eyes as a car horn sounded.  The elves that had been poised as back up swept in and swiftly escorted Santa out of the room. 

Tony breathed a sigh of relief.  That had been a close call.  “OK! Go! Go! Go! Revise drop-time to 10.1seconds Let's pick this up, people!” He shouted across the Control Room. 

_Drop-time revised. Picking this up._

The rest of the evening proceeded without a hitch.  Elves strapped themselves in and jumped down onto rooftops, presents were placed under the trees and stockings were stuffed.  Until finally, the last drop of the night was completed.  When the last present was placed under the tree and the counter had set to Zero finally the system announced:  _Mission accomplished._

“Oh, what a night that was!  That detachable milkmaid!” Pepper materialised in front of Tony, her suit still as pristine as it was at the beginning of the night.  “Just the beginning. Right, sir? I... got you a present, sir. Not "S" for Stark, sir. "S" for Santa!”

“Oh... I don't know about that, Pepper.” Tony demurred. “Okay! Let's bring them home!”

 

When the S1 Helicarrier docked in its bay and the elves serving on board began to disembark there was a crowd awaiting them.  The field elf battalion and strike teams came first, all sharing their tales of the night’s operation and those in need were assisted to medical.   
“CCTV in every room!”  
“I had to go under the floor!”  
“Stand back! Holly Injury coming through!”  
  
Steve was there, eagerly awaiting his father’s return.  One of the elves from the Control Room saw him there and called out, “Hey! Fancy a trip on the S-1, Steve? It only goes 150,000 miles per hour.”

Steve turned a bit green at the very thought.  “No, thanks. I see a bit of the world from my office, you know. Some of the stamps I get are amazing!” He knew they thought him useless but he honestly just wanted to be part of the team and help however he could.  Finally Howard appeared from within the S1 Helicarrier “Santa! Dad! Dad! Oops. I'm sorry. So sorry.” He tripped on an elf, distracted by waving at his father. 

“Steve.” Howard saw him standing amongst the crowd, he wasn’t that much taller than some of the elves, he didn’t know where it had all gone wrong with poor Steve but he was always such an optimistic child.  “Happy Christmas!” Steve called to him.   
“You, too.” Howard called back fondly.   
“You were fantastic! Look: Christmas slippers!” Steve tried to stand on one leg and waggled the offending slipper at him, its googly eyes lolling about its head.   
“Huh. Well done. Yes.” Howard quickly looked for a distraction.   
“Father?” Happily Tony was there in front of him.   
“Ah! There he is! Tony!” He moved through the crowd towards him and took his place on the small stage set up to one side.  “Mission: Accomplished! Tonight, we delivered over 2 billion presents on this, my 70th mission!” Cheers rang out from the elves and Tony reached over and turned the microphone on for him “Oh, Thank you, Tony. You know, I sometimes think I couldn't do it without you, and my splendid Jarvis, who stood by me all these years, very ably doing all that, uh, stuff that butlers do when their charges are at work. Marvellous. And, uh, Steve. Yes. Doing vital work in maintenance. - Really vital.”  
“I, um, I work in letters, Dad.”  Called Steve.   
“Letters. Of course. I'm so sorry.”  
Steve continued blindly, “You moved me after I tripped over that plug and melted down the elf barracks.”

“I lost everything in that flood.” Muttered one of the elves in the front row. 

“Yes. Now... Many years ago, my father told me, that being Santa is the best job in the world. He was right. I loved it…. I can't wait for year seventy one! Merry Christmas everyone!” Howard continued oblivious to the shocked look on Tony’s face behind him.  Everything he had worked for, striving to be the man his father wanted, improving communications, the S1, making this the most efficient Christmas ever and for what?  This was supposed to be his year, the year that finally he would take over the mantle of Santa.  Tony steeled himself, his blank mask falling over this face and Pepper helplessly looked on. 


	2. Chapter 2

“What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!”Steve laughed like a dying seal at the joke in his cracker. “Isn't this the best bit of Christmas?” He gestured around the table, Howard at the head, Tony on one side and Peggy sitting beside him, Jarvis busy serving food for everyone. 

“It certainly is, Steve. The whole family together.” Jarvis replied, trying to look on the bright side.  “How about a toast, Howard?” he prompted. 

“Oh! Uh, well... here's to me... doing an even better job next year!” Jarvis sighed subtly, well, he had tried. 

“I mean, you're already perfect, Dad.” Steve said earnestly. 

“Ha! That turkey did more than him. Ha! Ha! H...” Peggy laughed until she started choking on a sprout. 

“You wouldn't understand, Peggy. I’ve rather moved things on since your day.” Howard looked to his eldest son for back up.  Peggy had founded S.L.E.I.G.H. and thought she still knew everything.  “Eh, Tony?

“Forget Techno Tommy.  He's texting on his calculator after another job.” Peggy chortled.  She had done her time in charge, now she got to sit back and watch the car crash that was this family.  She’d done her best but Howard had never figured out how best to be a father to his two boys.  If it wasn’t for her and Jarvis she was certain they’d have been left to freeze in the arctic! 

“It's a Hand-held Operational & Homing Organizer: the HOHO 3000. I'm enacting mission closure.” Tony focused on his HOHO, inwardly seething as he cleared his inbox. 

“Ooo. Whoopie doo. Aren't you the Fancy Nancy? Don't matter what you come up with, son.  
You may be the next in line, but you'll never get to be Santa unless you knock him off.” Peggy cackled. 

Feeling the mood start to plummet again Steve quickly grabbed the box he had put aside.  “I've got you all a present. After all the hard work, I wanted everyone to have some Christmas fun. Ta-da!” It was Christmas: The Board Game. 

When the box was unpacked then next hurdle presented itself.  Choosing the game pieces. 

“I'm Santa!”

“No. I'm Santa.”

“This is ridiculous. You just took the piece out of my hand!”

“Well, I am actually Santa, so I rather think I should have it.”

Tony sighed, “Well, yes. You're the non-executive figurehead.”

“Exactly. The figurehead.” Howard nodded decisively. 

“It means a fatty with a beard and fits the suit.” Peggy was so done with today, she was not done with the sherry though. 

“The other pieces are good, too.  Or, I can make extra Santa's for everyone.” Steve saw his bright idea crumbling before him.  No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t seem to help Howard and Tony get along, they were too similar and as she’d gotten older Peggy had ceased to be of any help.  She’d done her time and now found it more entertaining to just watch the disastrous relationship unfolding in front of her.  She certainly had tried her best to fix it before but there was nothing she could do, they didn't listen to her anymore. 

“Why don't you be the candle, Tony? All those bright ideas, eh?”  Howard tried to make peace. 

  
“Fine. I'm the candle. Steve's the turkey. And you, Father, are, of course, Santa. Peggy, you can be this charming relic.” Tony was trying not to let his father get to him but it wasn’t easy. 

“Relic? Relic? I did the whole of Christmas in one of these, Steve! Oh, yes. I didn't need a trillion elves in blinking hats.” Peggy thumped her hand on the table in outrage.  She had founded S.L.E.I.G.H. but Tony just had to know better than everyone.  The boy was a genius, no doubts, but he didn’t know when to leave well enough alone. 

“We don't just fly about throwing lead-painted toys down chimneys anymore.” Tony griped, unwilling to let it go. 

As they bickered Howard, Steve and Jarvis were taking their turns with the game.   
“That space sends you back to Lapland.”  
“Why?”  
“Howard, where did you get those?”  
“Just moving things along.”  
“Do I win?”  
“Cheats! The pair of you!” Peggy cried as her piece was sent backwards. 

“Jarvis, are you okay?” Steve asked, seeing the man pull out some mending.   
“Polar bear, dear.  Attacked me on the ice. Good job I did that online survival course, or it would be one less for turkey next year.”

Tony and Peggy continued to butt heads, an argument that never evolved.  Peggy thought the old ways were the best and Tony wanted nothing but innovation.   
“Christmas has gone right down the ruddy hole. You're a postman with a spaceship!”  
“My S-1 festivized the world at 1,860 times the speed of sound!”  
“Christmas, 1941.  World War II. I did the whole thing with six reindeer and a drunken elf! I was shot at, Steve. Took twelve direct hits. Lost three reindeer.”  
“What happened to the elf?”  
“Fell out of the sleigh over Lake Geneva. Never saw him again.”

They paused as Jarvis once again tried to move the game along as he landed on a new challenge square.  “Goodness. Now, Christmas crackers.Sing "Silent Night" backwards.”  
“Who would know that?”  
Steve lunged forward, this he could do! “# tneliS thgin! yloH thgin!  
llA si mlac, lla si thgirb. #”

Peggy blinked in disbelief then took up the argument with Tony again.  “I went on alone. I could still do it now, Tony.  Just gimme a go!”  
“In a heap of sticks.” Muttered Tony, the old sleigh had been a joke, his S1 helicarrier had top of the line engines, cloaking technology beyond the dreams of any government and was the fastest thing in the skies!   
“Heap of... I'll show you, Rumpy the robot!”

Tony had had enough.  He had sat through dinner with his ridiculous family and had any of them said anything about his contribution to the success of Christmas, of course not.  They never did.  All Peggy seemed to do these days was look back to “the good old days” and Howard never noticed anything Tony did for him.  Steve couldn’t help it but everything he did just got right up Tony’s nose, his brother was a disaster but everyone felt too sorry for him to give him a hard time about his work!  An alert came through on his HOHO and he left the room before he said something he’d regret.   
“Oh, dear.”  
“Oh, yeah! Run away, now that you're losing!” Jarvis swiftly confiscated Peggy’s sherry. 

Steve slipped out of the room behind Tony, rushing to catch up with him as he stalked away down the corridor.  “Tony! Don't be upset. Look: You keep this.” He held out the Santa game piece “Then you can be Santa next time. That'll be you there, Tony. Next year, I bet. You'll be great.”

Tony wasn’t in any mood to listen to his brother’s platitudes.  “How many times, Steve? It's the North Pole. Shut the doors!” He stalked off, Steve struggling to keep up. 

 

“I secured the gift, sir. Gift secured.” Barked out the elf standing strictly at attention in front of Pepper as Steve came into the room. 

“It just can't be.  The system is foolproof.”

“It has to be an error, sir.” Pepper soothed. 

“Error!?” Tony gasped out.  He did not make errors!  
  
“I spotted the ribbon glinting in the shadows, sir. I am actually trained in wrapping. But I said to myself, "Bucky" the wrapping looks okay.  Thank goodness! But that present should not be lying in the...”

“Yes. Yes. Thank you, soldier.” Pepper cut him off as Steve entered the room.   
  
“Someone got the wrong present? That's awful! Whose is it?”  
  
“No one gets the wrong present.” Pepper jumped to Tony’s defence.  It was hard working for Tony at times but she knew the man had a vision for the future of Christmas.  He just needed someone to support him while he worked towards it.   
  
“Gift undelivered?! They got... nothing. A child's been missed.” Steve read out from the display on the screen with disbelief.   
  
“Not necessarily.” Jumped in Tony, he refused to believe that this could happen on his watch.  Above them the L.E.D display above the mainframe computer in Mission Control that displays the number of presents lights up and shows 0000000001 in red  
  
“A child's been missed!” Cried out Steve.   
  
“Do you want to wake up the whole North Pole?” hissed Tony in reply.   
  
“Good idea. A CHILD'S BEEN MISSED!!!!!” Steve bellowed this from the top of his puny lungs.  “Steve!” Tony scolded him in an undertone but it was too late, Howard appeared, drawn by the ruckus.   
  
“Everything all right?”  
  
Tony drew himself up and turned to face his father.  “There's been... a glitch.”

“We've missed a child!” Steve helpfully put in from his frantic pacing by the monitor.   
  
“Really? Dear, oh dear. That's awful. How did you let it happen, Tony?” Howard demanded, turning to face his eldest son.   
  
“How did I...” Tony was speechless.   
  
“I thought it was your mission.” Howard continued. 

“Oh, no, no.” Tony shook his head in disbelief, he was not getting blamed for this error.   
  
“This is your department.” Howard carried on. 

“What are we going to do?” Steve was wringing his hands in worry now.   
  
“We must... um... We must... What must we do, Tony?” Howard finally turned to Tony, at a loss to even begin to understand the systems Tony had put in place.  Really, he just wanted to sit back and enjoy a mince pie or three, was that so much to ask? 

“There's... nothing to do.  The mission was a success.” Tony gasped.  This could not be happening, everything he had worked for and it was falling apart over one present? 

“We can't leave a child out of Christmas.” Steve bemoaned. 

“ Sunrise at destination is 7:39 A.M. There's no way to get there in time.” Pepper looked up from her HOHO with a resigned expression on her face.   “No way.” She nodded decisively.  “Except, of course, the S-1.” She added absently. 

“The S-1.” Steve echoed thoughtfully, “Righto.” He nodded decisively and turned to march towards the craft.   
  
“No! The S-1 has just travelled some seven million miles. We could damage it!” Cried Tony.   They were not taking his baby out again after the night she’d had “And, risk the lives of the elves.” He added as an afterthought.   
  
“Oh, dear.” Sighed Howard.   
  
“I'll go, sir. Bucky Barnes, Wrapping Division. Grade Three, sir!” Barnes saluted crisply.   
  
“Who asked you?” Pepper glared at this impudent elf.   
  
“I wasn't called up for field duty this year. Served up my mission in gift-wrap support. I wrapped 20,000 presents.  If you want that bike delivered in a perfect state of enwrapment, then I'm your elf.” Bucky drew himself up to his full height and thrust his chin out defiantly.   
  
“No one is going!” Tony stated “It's impossible!”  
  
“But, this child!” Steve was not letting it go.   
  
“It's a margin of error of 0.00001%. I mean, "Hello??" Where's the champagne? My department has delivered the most outstanding Christmas ever.” Tony argued.  
  
Howard seemed bemused by all this, turning between them all as they shouted “Oh. Uh... Well done, us.”  
  
“But, there's a child without a present.” Steve insisted  
  
“Steve, Christmas is not a time for emotion. We will get 47785BXK a present within... the window of Christmas. We'll messenger the item. It'll be there in 5 days.” Tony tried to placate him.   
  
“But, that'll ruin the magic.”  
  
Tony put his foot down.  “If there was any way at all to make the drop tonight; it can't be done.”  
  
Howard nodded, glad to have settled it.  “Your brother knows about these things. I won't sleep easy after this, Steve. But there it is. It can't be done. Merry Christmas.” He sleepily turned away, he just wanted his bed now without all this fuss.  In turn Steve stomped off, trailed by Bucky the elf, a look of righteous indignation on his face, jaw set. 

 

“Steve, you're compromising the wrapping! That is not a toy! Well, it is, but that's not the... STEVE!” Bucky cried out, a pained expression on his face as he saw the way Steve was handling the wrapped present.   
  
“C'mon, C'mon, C'mon, C'mon. Child 47785BXK... Where are you?” Steve sorted through the files of letters he’d received from around the world, “Ah! Dear Santa… and my friend doesn't believe in you… For Christmas, I'd like a pink twinkle-bike.  
Gwen Hines. Trelew, Cornwall, England.”

_______________________________________________

_Lights out._

Howard settled on the edge on his bed, Jarvis tidying around him. “This figurehead thing. I'm not just a fatty with a suit, am I?”

“Of course not, sir.” Jarvis soothed.   
  
“No. I'm Santa. Children...” he yawned, “rely on me.”  
  
“Here.” Jarvis passed him some envelopes.   
  
“Thank you.”

“It's just cheques for the boys and cash for Peggy.” He sighed when he saw the dejected look on Howard’s face, “Oh, Howard.” He knew how hard he tried but he just wasn’t up to speed with all of the goings on about the North Pole these days.   
  
“The 2 billion other gifts.” Howard complained,  “Christmas has become such a mad rush!”

“Until you... retire...” hinted Jarvis.   
  
“Retire?  Sit next to Peggy, watching Tony on TV.” Howard shuddered. He couldn’t think of anything worse.  He still had it, he’d show them.  He wasn’t retiring, look what it had done to Peggy!  Sharp as a tack until she stopped flying.  He didn’t want that to happen to him.  He jumped up as he settled back on to the bed only to sit on the HOHO underneath him. 

 _You are sent a level 1 access HOHO._  
_Please state your identity._  
 _State your identity._  


“Who would I be?” He questioned softly, a lost look on his face.   
  
“You'd be Howard, sir.” Jarvis said, a sympathetic grimace crossing his usually stoic façade.   
  
“And there's... Steve.” Continued Howard, “Dear Steve. What a puzzle.  I'm still very much up to the job you know. Ho-ho...Night, Jarvis.” He settled down on the bed, already drifting off.   
  
“Good night, Howard.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

“It just can't be. It can't. It just CAN'T...” Steve burst into the room looking like he was on the edge of a panic attack.  
  
“What's all this caboodle, young man?”  
  
“Peggy! It's this little girl. She's been missed.”  
  
“Ha! So much for your brother's fancy-pants technology.” Peggy was feeling smug. This was turning out to be an excellent Christmas, she hadn’t had such a laugh in years!  
  
“No! Tony and Dad wracked their brains, but they said it's impossible.” Steve defended his father and brother. He trusted them, they would do it if they could, he knew it.  
  
“Is it, now? Missed a child. Dear, oh, dear. Sends shivers down me shins.” Peggy got a calculating look in her eye.  
  
“In 2 hours, she's gonna wake up, head downstairs, search under the tree, and the look on her face... when there's nothing there. She won't understand. She'll think she's the one kid in the whole world that Santa doesn't care about. She'll feel so... left out. On Christmas night, he comes. Gwen can't not have a present from Santa.” Steve continued to work himself up, he couldn’t believe it, how had they missed a child?  
  
Peggy let herself grin, her plotting solifiying into a solid plan. Howard and Tony wouldn’t be so quick to discount her now. “Do you know, Steve, there is a way.”  
  
“It's impossible.”  
  
“They used to say it was impossible to teach women to read.” Peggy huffed, gathering her walking stick and standing up, “Follow me.”

 

“It's... It's the actual sleigh!” Steve’s eyes were about to burst out of his head, he was sure of it. He couldn’t believe that standing there in front of him was a perfectly preserved sleigh.  
  
“Hello, Angie.” Peggy reached out softly, gazing fondly at the sleigh before her.  
  
“I thought it was scrapped years ago.” Steve whispered, still in awe of the piece of history in front of him.  
  
“So did everyone else. I know.” Peggy’s fond look melted away to be replaced with her old, brisk efficiency, “Icelandic birch. Arctic balsa. Built in 1845. Able to reach a height of 40,000 feet! With a...Over here, you sprig of tinsel!” She broke off to shoo her reindeer away from the large canister in the corner.  
  
“Potash of Carboniloroxy Amilocitrate” Read Steve from the lable, “ ... Magic dust!”  
  
“Mined from the aurora borealis.” She confirmed.  
  
“She doesn't still...go?” Steve couldn’t believe that the old sleigh might still work, that Gwen might still have a hope of getting her present of Christmas Day.  
  
“Not just a hobby, Steve.” Peggy opened the double doors in front of them and gestured inside, “Great-great grandchildren of the original 8.” There in their stalls were 8 stunning reindeer, all in their prime. Peggy let herself swell with pride as she called,   
  
“Dasher! Dancer! Prancer! Uh, what are the others called? I could never ruddy remember. B- Bambi? John! You there, with the white ear. And you. Not you, you bag of fleas.” She shoved her old reindeer away from her where he had been getting over excited.  
  
“Uh... I'm not really good with big animals!” Steve had backed himself into a corner and was holding the gift wrapped bicycle in front of him as a barrier between himself and a curious reindeer.  
  
“Piffle!” Peggy waved his concerns away, “Don't get bit-mind. They can smell fear. Let's hitch 'em up!”  
  
“Peggy! You can go to Gwen, on the old sleigh, with the reindeer, and the magic dust, and everything! It's a miracle!” Steve was overjoyed, an infectious grin spreading over his face.  
  
“You're coming too, lad.”  
  
Abruptly, his grin vanished. “Me? On that? Up there? Pulled by them? Ah! N- no way.” Steve was shaking his head as he tried to back away. No way could he do this. He wasn’t built for adventure, he was happy here, answering letters.  
  
“I'm 136. I can't do it on me own. I need an elf.” Peggy threw her hands up in exasperation.  
  
“I can't fly a sleigh! I can't even ride a bike without stabilizers. I know! Let's wake Tony. He'll...” Steve tried to turn and flee only to be guided back by a soft hand on his arm.  
  
“No! He's a worrier, Steve. What if he stops us? Gwen's forgotten.” Peggy maneuverered him over towards the sleigh.  
  
“You really care?” Steve asked softly as he climbed up into the sleigh, still clutching the bike to him.  
  
“Well, of course I do! I was Santa, too. Think of your dad. Lying awake, chewing his beard off with worry over this girl. Don't you want to help, for once? Make him proud?” Peggy wasn’t above using some dirty tricks, she didn’t survive this long by being honourable!  
  
“I can't. I just... I... No! I can't.” Steve tried to change his mind and get out of the sleigh but it was too late.  
  
“Ready?” Peggy cracked the reigns and the reindeer started to pull the sleigh forwards out, into the night.  
  
“No!” Steve clung on to the sides until his knuckled turned white. Peggy just whooped with laughter as they flew over the snow.  
  
“You promised not to go too fast! I get travel sick, and I'm allergic to snow!” Steve was regretting every decision he had ever made up to this point.  
  
“Ho ho! So you're a son of Santa?” Peggy questioned, laughing as she guided the reindeer over the ice caps.  
  
Steve tried one last time as the sleigh swooped upwards, “Wait! My slippers! They're not for outside use!”  
  
“Ha! Ha! See? Who's Santa now? Ho-ho-ho! Whoooo!” Peggy grinned, animation coming back into her as she felt the wind whipping past them as she soared high once again.  
  
“Aah! Put me down! I'm having a heart attack!”  
  
“Ha! Ha!Ha! They've never flown before.” She cracked the reins again, settling the reindeer in front of them, “Just gotta break them in. Now: Come away! Dash away!” They soared even higher into the night sky, the clouds below them and the sky stretching away. “Look, Steve: All those stars! We're one of them, now. A shooting star!” she gestured to the toy stuck to the dashboard of the sleigh in front of Steve, “Stuck that there for your dad when he was a boy.”  
  
“Dad? He sat here?”  
  
“So did I. Every young heir to the Pole gets took out by his father. Right back to Saint Nick. We Clauses used to be the only people in the world who could fly, Steve. See all this? It was a gift. Great big ball wrapped in oceans and mountains. I remember the look on your father's face when he saw it. Ha, ha! Want to help me make a snowman?” She got a glint in her eye again as she jerked the reins to one side and swiftly guided the sleigh into a graceful arc.  
  
“Ah! Where's the seatbelt?”  Behind them the clouds had been whipped into the shape of a snowman that waved as they carried on their way across the frozen sea.  
  
“Can Dad do that? Did he make a snowman for Tony?  
  
“Robot Roy? Ha! Ice and cocoa. Next Santa, and he's never even sat in a sleigh.” She pulled out a thick bunch of folded paper from under the seat.  
  
“Is that...?”  
  
“The map of the Clauses. Used every Christmas night in history. Whatever your brother says, Steve, it's the same old world.” Then from the cloud bank ahead of them emerged a hulking great crane, she screamed as they lurched to one side to avoid a collision.  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“No idea! I've never seen it before!”  
  
“It's a city!”  
  
“New one erected. They're always putting these things up. I remember the first time I ran into Chicago.”  
  
“Chicago wasn't on the map?”  
  
“Now then, where are we? Aha! Here we are. See? Oho! No, that's Peking” She was distracted trying to juggle the map and the reins that it was only when Steve cried out a warning that she realised they were headed for a collision“Whoa!”  
They jerked to one side, hitting an inflatable Santa as they went and realised they were flying along side buildings full of windows. “They can see us!”  
  
“Well, pull the camouflage lever! Now, then. We'd better draw in a few of these sky-scratchers. Just... Well, that's a steam train, you ninny! So, what do they call this place?”She peered over the side of the sleigh looking for a sign, “Toe-ron-toe.”  
  
“Toronto's in Canada!”  
  
“The Santa's always come through Canada. Nobody lives here. It's nice and quiet. 'Til your brother came along, with all his, "You can't cut through Saigon. There's a war. " rubbish. I don't need him to tell me what's ahead. I've got eyes.”  
  
“Peggy!!” Steve screamed as the sleigh dodged and lurched around the buildings surrounding them.  A small head popped out of the rear seats as the sleigh shook and juddered before Peggy got it under control again.    
  
“Ah! It's an elf!” Peggy cried.  
  
“Bucky Barnes.” He saluted and got rapped on the head with Peggy’s stick for his trouble, “Ow! There’s a small injury to your gift wrap, sir, but I can fix it.”  
  
“A stowaway.” Peggy muttered, heart rate lowering slowly from the shock.  
  
“I can wrap anything, sir, with three bits of sticky tape. Three.” He held up three fingers in demonstration.  
  
“Good. Wrap yourself a parachute.” She said as the grabbed him and chucked him overboard.  
  
“Peggy!” Steve looked panicked as he turned to look behind them only to see Bucky clinging to the back of the sleigh with the help of two tape dispensers.  
  
“Toronto. Present and correct.” Peggy was unaffected by this as they left the city behind them.  
  
“Not quite, sir. You've lost one of the reindeer!” Piped up Bucky from behind.

________________________________________  
  
“Quantitative easing... What the...? Hello?” Tony lurched up from his bed as his HOHO jabbered an alert at him and he answered the call.  “What elf?”  
  
“Bucky Barnes, sir. The crazy wrapping elf, you know? Security tracked him to sector 9-G, and ... we think Steve was here.” Pepper shied away on the other end of the HOHO view screen, she hated bringing bad news to Tony.  
  
“Steve?”  
  
“Who else leaves the door open, huh, sir?” She gestured down the corridor behind her, swinging the screen around to show Tony the scene. A polar bear was in the corridor behind her, menacing an elf.  
  
“The old sleigh barn? That was sealed up decades ago! After that terrible night, Peggy sneaked out and... Thank goodness she's too old these days to get into trouble.” He adored Peggy but old people were trouble, he was definitely never getting old.  
________________

“Bash it with a brick, Steve! Go on! Grab its antlers and tug.”  Steve was balanced up a ladder trying to lever a golden deer off a sign.   
  
“I may just be a wrapping operative, sir, but this contravenes...” “seventeen” the HOHO inserted “specific mission regulations!”  
  
“I'm in charge here, not Billy the bureaucrat. Tug!”  
  
“Eighteen.” The HOHO chirped.  
  
“Wrap your head. Come on, lad! You're as much use as a cheese chopstick!”  
  
“Got it!” Steve turned, struggling to balance the weight of the sign, “Oh.” The back of the deer was covered in wires.  
  
“Oh, my big Aunt Betty... It'll have to do. Pass it down! What?” Peggy turned to Bucky in exasperation.  
  
“Permission to breathe, sir. I have about 9 seconds left before I black out.” Gasped Bucky.  
  
“One breath.” Peggy said begrudgingly.  
  
“Sir?”  
  
“I said, "One." hurry up, Steve.” She didn’t have time to deal with insubordinate elves.  
  
“Don't we need a whole one? You know, to balance the sleigh?” Steve questioned.  
  
“Oh, it won't balance the sleigh. No. No. If anything, it'll slow us down.” Explained Peggy.  
  
“So, why are we taking it?” Steve was confused. All that effort and for what?  
  
Peggy thought fast, a shifty look appearing momentarily on her face. “It's for Gwen. Eight beautiful reindeer. That's what she's dreaming of. The jingly bells, the sleigh on the roof.”  
  
“Yeah, but...”  
  
“That's what the kids want,not some spaceship! We're giving her the star treatment.”  Bucky began frantically tugging on the sleeve of Peggy’s coat. “What now?”  
  
“We have a waker, sir. With a gun!”  With that a shot rang out and pinged off the remains of the sign. Steve spun round to look at the shooter, hood hiding his features.  
  
“That's it, lad. You distract it!”  
  
“Peggy!”  
  
“Who's there?” Shouted the gun wielding man, fear making his voice quake.    
  
“Uh... We come in peace.” Steve scrambled for an explanation, “Our craft has to travel around the world in less than an hour! We need the sign for our slei... craft. Sorry I can't pay you. Where I come from, we don't have moneyyyy...” With that the sleigh finally took off, Bucky scooping Steve and their stolen reindeer sign up on the way, and whisking him off into the night. The unlucky man below left staring up into the sky in disbelief and the gapign hole left where a golden deer used to hang.  
  
“Christmas, 1923: Had a heart attack at the reins. Left ventricle popped out me mouth. Pushed it back down and carried on.” Peggy seemed invigorated by the drama and proceeded to regale them with highlights from days gone by.  
_________________________________________________  
“Ha, ha. Big, isn't it? The Atlantic. You think we should stop and ask someone?” Steve peered gingerly over the side of the sleigh, gazing at the terrifying expanse of water below.  
  
“Pishy whipper! We're nearly there! See?” Peggy pointed at a blinking light up in the sky “I take the North Star there as a fixed point, then I plot my bearings from... “  
  
“That's a plane, sir.” Bucky put in from his place in the back of the sleigh.  
  
“Insubordination! I'll have you harpooned, elf.”  
  
“I thought it would be chillier near England.” Mused Steve.  
  
“Uh... globular warming. Ha! Land ahoy! There it is! Told you. Now, now. There you go.” Peggy gracefully guided the sleigh in to land on the dusty earth below.  
  
“Wow! England.”  
  
“Maybe we've come to the right a bit. We're a reindeer short. France. Bonjour. Ou est le boulangerie?” Peggy grabbed her stick and her map and marched off over the rise to the side of them. An unmistakable sound trumpeting out through the air.  
  
“They have elephants in France?” Bucky asked incredulously.  
  
“The odd stray. They breed in the drains. This way. Buenos Das. Hola.” They crested the slight hill and gazed out over the flat expanse of scrub land before them. “Paris zoo!”  
  
“Then this is where they keep the lions!”  
  
“They won't eat me. I'm Santa! Lie down!” Cried Peggy, “Right. Call the keeper!”  
  
Steve grabbed for the map, staring at it trying to make sense of it all, “How old is this? Atlantis? Here be cannibals?”  
  
“You gotta watch out for cannibals.” She replied indignantly. “This isn't France, is it?” Steve asked in resignation.  
  
“Technically, it's North Africa. Serengeti National Park, Tanzania.” Stated Bucky.  
  
“Rubbish. How can you possibly be sure?” she scoffed.  
  
“The GPS in the HOHO, ma’am.”  
  
“Take him! Take the elf!” Peggy thrust Bucky forward towards the rapidly advancing lions.  
  
“GPS? Why didn't you say?” Steve gasped.  
  
“I'm a wrapping elf. I don't navigate. I wrap! I use it to draw pictures of bows.” Bucky claimed, tilting the screen of the HOHO towards Steve to show a lovely image bow with multiple loops of red and silver ribbon.  
  
“Bucky's right. You've brought us to Africa! I've seen it on a stamp.”  
  
“I'm too young to die, Steve!” Peggy wailed, “Do something! Steve!!!!!!”


	4. Chapter 4

“The old sleigh? What is happening here? It was supposed to be chopped up for firewood decades ago! Who on Earth would be that devious?” Tony stood there flabbergasted.  
  
“Old people, sir.” Pepper tutted, “Shall I get you your stress ball?”  
  
“We have a finer comms array than the Pentagon, and you say we can't contact him except by some crazy, ancient... “  
  
“Toodle-loo! Here comes the cavalry!” In tottered an incredibly old elf, dragging a multikeyed contraption behind him, “Stan Lee, sir. Whole of communications for 46 missions. Me and Peggy saw some times. I remember, once...”  
  
Tony quickly cut off the impending ramble at the pass,“Wow. Must catch up soon. Now...”  
  
“Ooh, you're in a hurry. I can tell.” Stan whipped the dust cover off the machine and proceeded to choke as a cloud of dust surrounded him.  
  
“Oh, this is ridiculous. Can't we hurry this?” Tony was getting impatient.  
  
“Ooh, you can't rush the Stigdamater. Got to play her gentle. So, what do you wish to say?”  
  
“I wouldn't worry. It's not like they're facing man-eating lions.” Soothed Pepper.

_________________________________  
  
Steve stood at the front of the group, surrounded by lions eagerly circling. He held his slippers out in front of the lions, swaying them hypnotically from side to side as the lights flashed and they played their tinny Christmas tune.  
# Silent night  
# H-holy night  
# All is calm... AAH!  
#All is bright  
# I realize this is mental  
# but it's all that I know  
# It's Christmas, nice kitty,  
# so please, let us go  
# Sleep in heavenly peace  
____________________________________________

“Oh! Something's coming through!”  
  
“What does it say?”  
  
“ROAR... GRRR...”  
____________________________________________

They backed slowly towards the sleigh, never daring to take their eyes off the lions now held in the slipper’s thrall. They climbed on board and tried to make a dash for it when the lions pounced.  
  
“Get off her! That's me Angie, you mangy moron!”  
  
“No! That's Gwen's gift! Only children get to tear the wrapping!” Suddenly Bucky’s whole demeanour changed. He lashed out at the nearest lion.  
  
“Bucky?!”  
  
“Automatic tape gun!” The attacking lion’s legs were bound together, leaving it lying in the dirt behind them.  
  
“Bad doggy! Bad doggy!” Peggy lashed about with her stick.  
  
“Laser-guided scissors!” The lions were transfixed by the lazer spot and darted to follow it.  
  
“Oh, no! Not the...” One of the lions managed to puncture the tank of Magic Dust with its claws, leaving a leaking trail behind them as they fled. Some of the reindeer slipped their traces and galloped off into the sky.  
  
“Standard-issue gift-wrap!” Bucky swiftly and terrifyingly wrapped the lion. When he went to add a ribbon Steve couldn’t help but interject.  
  
“There's no time for a bow!”  
  
“There's always time for a bow!” With one final flourish Bucky shoved the wrapped lion away from the sleigh and they lifted off into the safety of the skies above.

“Look what they've done to my Angie!” bemoaned Peggy.  
  
“And the map! But, it's okay! We've got this!” He shook the HOHO in excitement then tapped a few buttons. “Look: Mimosa Avenue, Trelew.”  
  
_Proceed to the highlighted route._  
  
“What's the point? Look at us. And my camera totally bad-jacked. How do I get my picture now?” Peggy slumped in her seat behind the reins.  
  
Steve was puzzled, “What picture?”  
  
“The sleigh on the roof, the eight beautiful reindeer, and Santa... me... going down the chimney! That's what I wanted them to see. They missed the kid, but I got there. My way.”  
  
“That's why you came. Not for Gwen.” Steve whispered. He couldn’t believe he had thought that Peggy was only there for Gwen. She never did anything without at least 2 motivations and 3 back up plans. Peggy let herself feel her guilt for tricking Steve to get her moment.  
  
_1,368 miles, then, slight left._  
  
“For the love of Lulu, bossed about by Tim TomTom.”  She cracked the reins and brought them in line with the HOHO's projected route.    
________________________________

  
“Try them again. Keep trying! All this about 1 child... in 600 million!”  
  
“Don't worry, sir. Children are stupid. Either he won't know he got missed, or he'll think he's been bad! It's a win-win!” Pepper tried to calm Tony.  
  
“You missed one? A nipper? What's all this here for, if you've missed one?” Stan gestured to the control centre surrounding them.  
  
“Would you please type faster?” Tony said through gritted teeth.  
  
_Systems critical. Lead in Christmas._  
  
The lights went out leaving them in complete darkness.  
  
“Oopsy-daisy.”  
  
“Pepper? Let go of my hand, please.”  
  
“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.”  
  
“And get me IT. “

_______________________________  
_Descend 1,000 feet. You are at your destination_.  
  
“Whoo-hoo! We did it!” Steve was elated.  
  
“Woopty-doo.” Peggy grouched sarcastically.  
  
_In 100 yards, turn left. Straight ahead. Turn right. Left again. You are at your client's dwelling.  
  
_  “Steady!”  
  
“We made it. I survived!” Steve flopped out of the sleigh onto the ground below, Laying prostrate and kissing the dirt beneath his face, “I'll walk home, I'll get a boat, but I am never getting back in that crazy flying death-trap ever again!”  
  
Peggy just sat there, arms crossed over her chest. “Go on. Get it over. I want my bed.”  
  
“You're not coming? You have to deliver the present! You put your special coat on. You're our Santa!” Steve tried to cajole her into joining in.  
  
“I said, me and Angie could get here and we did. The rest is just elf work. Go on, Festive Freddy, sling your hook.”  
  
“It doesn't matter how we got here. The sleigh on the roof, the jingle bells; the eight reindeer. Gwen would never have seen that. I wish Dad could see this. It would take such a load off his mind.” Steve begged but Peggy was unmoved.  
  
Steve and Bucky advanced on the house together. They crept up to the door and both stood gazing up at it.  
  
“So, what are your orders?” Steve simply looked back at Bucky curiously, the carefully wrapped bike still clutched in his arms. “You're a Claus. You give the orders.”  
  
“Yeah! Oh, um... I'm just happy being an elf, really. You know, just part of it all.”  
  
Bucky sighed. Right, looked like he was going to have to guide things a little here. “You want to order me to go through the cat flap?”  
  
“Oh, yes. That's a grand idea.”  
  
Bucky slipped inside the house then peered back through the small glass window.  
  
“Do you want me to let you in?”  
  
“Brilliant! Thank you, Bucky.”  
  
“And do you want... “ an ominous bipping started up above.  
  
“Wait! Uh, the alarm? Yes! Definitely!” Bucky skilfully flipped and climbed up to the alarm where he rapidly covered it in multiple layers of wrapping, muffling any further noise.  
  
They advanced though the house, drawn by the glow of the Christmas lights coming from the living room.  
  
“Is this your first time?” whispered Bucky. A slow grin started to appear on Steve’s face, the lights, the presents under the tree, it was all… wait, the presents under the tree! There was a perfectly wrapped bike already there with a label ‘From Santa’ Steve and Bucky stared in shock.  
  
Suddenly a small fluffy creature launched itself at Steve’s feet and grappled with his slipper.  
  
“Bucky?!” Steve cried out in alarm, trying to clutch the bike and fend off this attack.  
  
Bucky grabbed at the small dog and tried to pry him off. “He loves these slippers even more than you do!”  
  
Finally he managed to push the dog away and they sprang to escape through the window. The tiny dog pressed itself up against the glass, pining pitifully after Steve and his slippers as they fled. Steve glanced back and couldn’t take the look on the poor creature’s face.  
  
“Merry Christmas.” He said as he thrust the slipper back through the window, a look of glee transforming the small dog’s face.  
  
As they fled back to the sleigh, helicopter lights strobing the sky above the Bucky demanded, “When you put the address into the HOHO, what did you see?”  
  
“A list of Trelews. I just clicked on the first one.” Steve panted as he tried to keep up with the smaller elf.  
  
“Which was not Trelew, England! We're in the wrong Trelew!”  
  
They reached the sleigh at last where Peggy was cowering, “They've been watching us. They've seen Angie! It's just like last time!”

___________________________  
  
As the lights flickered back on and the computers finished booting, Pepper spoke up. “We are online, sir.”  
  
Immediately the screens tuned in to news stations across the world. Scenes of chaos, destruction, and floating animals before them.  
  
“Governments tonight are waking to news of a UFO traveling around the globe at incredible speed.”  
“The clearest sighting was at this tractor dealership in Idaho.”  
“...and eyeballs on its feet, and a pointy little head. It asked me for a sign.”  
“And from the trail left in Toronto, these beings do not appear to be friendly.”  
“This is KPP-Charlotte. Police found a little furry thing which tried to mate with a dog.”  
“Paul, I have calls reporting a steam train flying around downtown. What do you see on satellite?”  
“It's gone black over Mexico. This thing is going faster than anything we know of.”  
“The herd is now in Mozambique's airspace, threatening the fragile peace between the two nations.”

Tony stood in the centre of Mission Control and simply stared, unable to believe what he was seeing. “Two billion items delivered, and we didn't leave a footprint in the snow. And now?”  
  
“Sir, we have lost data" piped up one of the IT elves.  
  
“No! No! We have 18 pulse data reservoirs of a trillion terabytes!”  
  
“Sorry. Auto-save was off.” The elf cowered before an increasingly irrational looking Tony.  
  
“Shall I sock it, sir? Quite hard?”  
  
“Sir, there's a polar bear on level 6.”  
  
“Sir, why is Steve out there?”  
  
On the one screen an image of Steve, still clutching the bicycle appeared.  
  
“He missed one. A nipper. I mean: 47785BXK.” Stan cackled from his perch on the communicator.  
  
“Sir, we've got something. Bucky Barnes. It's his HOHO.”

___________________________________________

 

Back in the sleigh Steve was insistent. “We can still get there. We just have to go faster. Higher.”  
  
“You changed your tune. I'm not going anywhere! I'm not here!” Peggy hid under a blanket as Steve cracked the reins and grabbed Bucky’s tape dispensers, layering tape across his body and securing himself to the seat.  
  
“I taped myself in, Peggy!”  
  
“Leave me alone! It's that terrible night, all over again!” Peggy cried from her hiding spot.  
  
“What night?”  
  
“Last time I took Angie for a spin, I didn't know it was the Cuban Missile crisis! I nearly started World War III.”  
  
“Someone has to drive!” Bucky screamed.  
  
“Oh, no! Fencer! Mincer! Come back!” Two more reindeer broke free from the sleigh as they rocketed around the streets of the Mexican town crashing off buildings and toppling trash cans as they went. Bucky nearly fell from the sleigh as it impacted against  
the corner of a building.  
  
“Bucky!”  
  
“Peggy, get here!” Steve grabbed her and forcibly pulled her out from under the blanket, thrusting her towards the reins.  
  
“Oy, that's me new hip!”  
  
“Please! I'll read you Gwen's letter.”  
  
“Stone-deaf. I'm 136” A funny noise sounded from the HOHO on the floor. ‘Incoming Call’ appearing on the screen. “What's that?”  
  
“It's Tony! Tony!” Steve grabbed for the HOHO, lifting it to his face.  
  
“Tell him I'm not here!”  
  
“Peggy says she's not here.”  
  
Tony’s face appeared, filling the screen of the HOHO. “Hi. I'm looking for a missing relic.”  
  
“Tony, three words.”  
  
“Is the first one help?”  
  
“Yes! You can help us, Tony!” Steve knew he could rely on his brother. They didn’t always see eye to eye, Tony was so focused on modernising everything when Steve really thought that they needed to keep some of the old traditions alive or they would lose their way to soulless technology.  
  
“It was him! Trusty the Madman! He forced me to come! Elf, back me up if you want a career.”  
  
“I forced you?” Steve couldn’t believe Peggy was trying to weasel out of this disaster.  
  
“You see? Look...”  
  
“What do you want, Peggy? Let me guess. Hmm. A picture of you, in the sleigh, delivering the gift, to show me how it's really done?” Tony stood in Mission Control an implacable look on his face. Peggy was easy to work out when you knew what she was after. A resurrection of the ‘the good old days’ a return to the unimaginative, slow, inefficient practices of the S.L.E.I.G.H. of old. Things were different now he was in charge. HE was a futurist. He would make Christmas the most efficient holiday ever with his innovations.  
  
“No.”  
  
“Do you know the picture they'll have tomorrow? You led away in handcuffs. The Santa who was seen. By everybody on Earth. The Santa who ruined Christmas.”  
  
Steve sat there, unable to see a way to stop the argument that was about to commence. When Peggy and Tony fought they were brutal to each other, neither one pulling their punches making verbal hits cut deep.  
  
“Ruined it!” Peggy cried, but then she back pedalled, she could see that she had gone too far this time and Tony would not be easily placated. “We'll fix this, Tony. We'll be back home in the whup of a reindeer's buttocks. And Angie can go back in mothballs. You can forget she ever existed.”  
  
“You can't just go home! What about Gwen?” Steve broke in, desperate to remind them of what should have been the most important issue.  
  
“Gwen. For that, you'd threaten my whole operation?” Tony was furious.  
  
“Tony, you said if there was any way to get there, you would. Well, this is it! Look: The old sleigh's perfect! Ah, right. Well, anyway, it goes really fast, even with things missing, and we've got quite a few reindeer left, and, if I'm sick again, I can be sick in a bag!”  
  
“I'll wrap him one.” Bucky chipped in from where he had been hiding in the back of the sleigh waiting to see how this conflict would resolve.

  
Back in the control room elves spoke up from where they surrounded Tony at their stations.  
  
“We can help them, sir.”  
"No one missed", sir.”  
"All correct presents, present and correct," sir! “  
  
“If you help us, Tony, we can do it.” Steve begged, he could see Tony’s resolve weakening.  
  
“Peggy and Steve would be the heroes of the night, sir!” Pepper dropped his espresso cup.

“Come home, now!” Tony snapped, any hint of weakness vanishing. “If we all just gave in to Christmas spirit, there'd be chaos!”  
  
“We're on our way, Tony.” Peggy capitulated.  
  
“No! Santa would want to get to Gwen. Ask him. Please.” Steve looked at his brother through the screen beseechingly.  
  
“Steve... This is Dad we're talking about. There was a time when he cared about every last gift tag, but now, he just wants to be loved. Get some rest.”  
  
“No. He's lying awake, worrying his beard off about Gwen.”  
  
Steve flipped his HOHO out of his pocket and dialled their father. The voicemail kicked in.  
  
“Ho-ho-ho. Off to the land of Nod. Please, do not disturb until December 26. - Is that it, Jarvis? - Yes, Howard! Press 3.”  
  
“ No! Santa's the most caring man in the world.” Steve couldn’t believe it. He knew his father. He adored being Santa. It meant everything to him. HE cared about each and every child… didn’t he?  
  
“So, why are you here and not him Stevie?” Bucky asked him softly.

Steve couldn't meet his eyes, suddenly unsure. He poked at a few bits on the dashboard of the sleigh and shifted a lever.  The sleight promptly flipped upside down, dumping all four occupants, plus Gwen's bicycle, out onto the beach below. The sleigh continued without them. 

\-------------------------

“Aaahhh!!!! Don't leave me, Steve. Poor old man and his reindeer, on our own at Christmas. At least have the decency to finish us off with a rock! Poor Angie. Sun will be up soon. It's Christmas!” Peggy tried to cheer him up. They were sat on a beautiful Cuban beach, Bucky had started a fire of driftwood and wrapping paper from the bike and they all sat around it. 

  
“Christmas is for kids. You grow out of it.” Steve sat on his rock by the fire, desultorily poking at it with a stick.  
  
“What, in the last six minutes?” Bucky muttered under his breath.

“I know what you all say about me, you know. "He belongs in the South Pole. " "Poor Steve. "  "What a puzzle. " Well, you were right. All that fuss over one kid. I must be ridiculous! This is nice. Good to get away from it all, you know. All the Christmas fuss.” He made a show of stretching out on the sand.

Peggy looked at him, remembering all the times she’d taken advantage of his trusting nature and genuine belief in everyone else’s good character. “I'm sorry I've messed things up, lad. You see, the night I last took Angie out, when there was all that... fuss, your father came to me. I'll never forget it; couldn't look me in the eye. "Peggy," he says, "Tony thinks it best you don't fly again. " "We're scrapping the sleigh. " My best friend, who used to sit where you sit, looking up at me. I just wanted them to remember who I used to be. I was a bit like you, lad. Keen as cranberry. So was your dad. You get old. That's all. Everything... changes.”

“Does it? How can I ever write another letter saying that Santa cares?” Steve lay down and turned his back to the conversation. “Good night, Dad. Sleep well.” He muttered under his breath, gaze fixed on the stars shining brightly above as he tried not to cry.


	5. Chapter 5

Howard woke to a knock on the door. The corridor was full of elves.  
  
“Sir, we know you shouldn't believe rumors, but we do.”  
  
“Is it true you missed a child?”  
  
Howard blinked sleeping, trying to think quickly, “Me? No, no. Well, in a way, yes. It was just one. In fact, not even that. Nought point, lots more noughts, then a number, and some sort of percent at the end. Not really an error. Just a one.”  
  
“One child doesn't matter?”  
  
“Which one?”  
  
“Well, I...” he searched for an answer.  
  
“Well, I did nice ones in Botswana, do those ones matter?”  
  
“What about my ones in Germany? “  
  
“One of them was twins!”  
  
“They don't matter.”  
  
“Why don't you ask Tony? He can explain. Fiendishly clever.” Howard nodded decisively, Tony would know.  
  
“But, aren't you in charge, sir?”  
  
“Of course.” He affirmed. “I'm Santa. “  
  
“Sir, if the one that got missed doesn't matter, why have Steve and Peggy gone to take it?”  
  
“What? Oh...” Peggy and Steve? What were they doing involved in this? He’d better see Tony about this.  
  
“Howard, What's this about Steve?” Jarvis called, emerging from his rooms and following the crowd going to Mission Control.  
  
“It's the religious children who don't matter.”  
  
“Santa says they don't matter 100%.”  
  
“Is it true? Children aren't real? They're just anti-matter?”  
  
Tony saw the throng entering the Control Room, Santa at the front. “Ssh! No! No! Look, I festivized every single country in the world! You see? This one. This one.” He pointed to them on the screens above. “This one. All of them! I mean, who cares about one single tiny child?”  
  
“Uh... I do.” Howard said distractedly, gazing up at the information on the screens showing Peggy and Steve’s path across the globe and the scenes they’d left behind. “Oh, Steve. My poor boy! Why on Earth would he... Well, you're his brother, Tony. How could you let him? And, um, about this child you missed, I'm really not sure you made the right decision...” He stopped, blinking for a second. “Is that bird poo on your shoulder?”  
  
Tony had had it. He was done trying to answer for everyone else’s problems.  “Right. Over there, is satellite tracking. Navigation. Data analysis. Coffee machine's by the door. Good night... Santa.” He snapped, pointing out the items on his way out the door. The doors swished closed behind him, leaving Santa and a crowd of elves staring after him.  
  
“Um... I'll be right back.” Howard followed him.

 

________________________________

 

 _Dear Xiao Lang,_  
_Thanks for your letter, and drawing of Santa tripping over your dog. It was hilarious!_  
_Dear Alessandro,_  
_Sorry your family's had a hard year, but Santa is real._  
_Dear Lois,_  
_I promise, Santa will come. He's the greatest man, ever._

“Can I burn this?” Bucky indicated the pile of children’s letters that he fallen from the sleigh next to them.  
  
“Sure. There's millions like it. Pathetic!” He was hit by a sudden realisation, “This picture... This... This drawing... It isn't of Dad! Or you... Or Tony... This is Santa!” A figure head. Gwen didn’t know who the man behind the suit was, it didn’t matter to any of the children around the world. Santa was Santa. So long as there was someone there to wear the mantle the children would be happy! “Ha, ha! And as long as we get the bike to Gwen before she wakes up, then Santa came! And he cares! Ha, ha! Ha, ha ha! - Aah! - # Jingle bells, Jingle bells,  
# Jingle all the way  
# Oh what fun it is to reach  
#Gwen Hines on Christmas day. Hey!

  
Steve lurched up and danced across the sand on his single slippered foot, grabbing an abandoned row boat and working to drag it into the surf.

  
# Jingle bells  
# This boat smells  
# 3000 miles to go”

“Oh, dear. I've seen this before. Sleigh fever, they call it. Pressure of Christmas sends a man doolally tap. Santa Claus the 16th got it 1802. Every child that year got a sausage nailed to a piece of bark.” Peggy muttered out the side of her mouth to Bucky watching as Steve huffed and puffed, grappling with the oars of the tiny boat.  
  
“Steve! Do you really think you can row the Atlantic Ocean in the next...” Bucky tried to be the voice of reason but Steve wasn’t having it and cut him off.  
  
“It's not too late, yet! Just... have to keep... going.” Steve gasped as he rowed.  
  
“We need a blunt instrument. Knock him out and regroup.” Muttered Peggy as Steve grabbed for the oar that was trying for an escape and splashed a great arc of water about.  
  
_Make a legal U-turn, then slight right,in 4,228 miles._  
  
“You do know we're going around in circles?”  
  
“You know, we're not the only ones.” Mused Peggy, “Maybe I will see Angie again!”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Reindeer are brave, powerful beasts, but they're also dappled cretins with twigs on their heads. They'll just keep going in a straight line, right around the world! They'll be way up in the sky, flying at unimaginable speed, but they'll pass right over our heads!”  
  
“Great! We CAN get the sleigh back!” Steve exclaimed.

_____________________

“Commander Fury”  
  
“So, where is this UFO?”  
  
“It's circling the Earth, sir. it went into orbit.

_____________________  
  
“You? Up there? Catch that with this?” It was clear that Bucky thought Steve had flipped.  
  
“Magic dust! You crack it over your head. You'll have to focus. The sleigh will be coming at you at 45,000 miles an hour.” Peggy, however, was fully on board with the new plan. Armed with a rope and some magic dust Steve was going to float up and catch the sleigh as it flew past.  
  
“45,000? “  
  
“You'll be torn in half!”  
  
“Depends on the angle the sleigh hits. You might just get beheaded.” Peggy explained pragmatically.  
  
“I've got a phobia of being beheaded, and heights! And speed, and reindeer, and... the buttons.” Steve shuddered.  
  
“Buttons?”  
  
“Yeah. I'm pretty much scared of everything.”  
  
“Gwen thinks you're coming.” Encouraged Peggy.  
  
“I can't do this.” Steve clutched at the rope tied around his waist searching for the knot.  
  
“Yes, you can!”  
  
“No, I can't.”  
  
“Yes, you can. COME ON, STEVE!”  
  
“Don't worry, son. Only a raving lunatic...” Peggy was cut off.  
  
“I have to worry! It's the only thing I'm good at!” Steve paused. He needed to overcome his fears. Worrying was what he did, he worried about everything. He just needed to be more worried than scared and he could do this! He cracked the vial of magic dust over his head and started to float. “Worry me. The sleigh will be back any minute! Come on! Worry me! Quickly!”  
  
“Imagine Gwen, all alone. - nothing under the tree...” Peggy started.  
  
“Here we go! Aaahh! I don't like this! Stop! - Stop! Get me down!” Steve had changed his mind, he couldn’t do this. 2 feet above the boat and he was already petrified.  
  
“Tears, as she finds she's been left out! Screaming "Santa didn't come!" Bucky called.  
  
“Oh, Gwen... Aaaaahhhhoho! It's just too high!” Steve hesitated, could he do this? Oh god it was high!  
  
“Gwen, in the street, surrounded by kids on new bikes,pointing, "That's the girl that Santa hates!"  
  
“No!”  
  
“She runs away.” Bucky was getting into the stride of this now, “Alcoholic by the age of 9. Dead before...”  
  
“She may never build a snowman again!” Peggy broke in before Bucky could take it too far.  
  
“What if there are buttons on the sleigh I don't know about?”  
  
“Here they come!”  
  
“Yaaaaaahhhhhh!!!”  
  
Steve flung the rope and grabbed on as it rocketed past being dragged off in its wake screaming as he went.

 

  
“How do you think he's, uh...” Peggy and Bucky sat quietly in the boat below, waiting.  
  
“Fine. Fine. Probably just, uh...” Bucky struggled for a lighter topic of conversation. “So, how come you didn't scrap the sleigh, sir?”  
  
“I threatened the elves. Said I'd feed 'em to the polar bears.” Bucky tried to subtly shift away from the crazy old lady within the confines of the small boat. “Elf, how do you fancy being the one to tell his parents about all this?”

Steve managed to drag himself up the rope and onto the sleigh but it was upside down. He needed to get to the reins below and flip them back over. He crawled along gingerly, dodging the flailing hooves and swinging straps as he went. The golden deer sign swung back and forth across his path like an axe. He needed to get past this one last obstacle and he’d have done it. He braced himself. Gwen was counting on him. He leapt and cleared the barrier, landing on the sleigh and grabbing for the reins. “Woah” He called to the remaining reindeer and pulled on the reins to slow them down, circling the sleigh to take them back to where he had left Peggy and Bucky sitting in the boat. As he reached down to help Peggy and Bucky into the sleigh he knocked the HOHO from Bucky’s grasp and it slowly sank in to the water.  
  
_Proceed to the highlighted route. Proceed to the..._  
  
“Just keep worrying about Gwen! I'll find a way there, boy, whatever it takes!” Peggy took over the reins and cracked then sharply prompting the reindeer to take off again. “To Trelewwww!”

________________________________________  
  
Howard briskly marched into his quarters with determination. “Jarvis, Hand me my "me" suit.”  
  
“All sorted.” Jarvis was putting a few last things in a bag and buttoning up his coat.  
  
“Tony's... uh... holding the fort, while I deliver the present. Yes. And find Steve and Peggy.”  
  
“Well done, sir. Trelew's on a course for 187.7 degrees from the geographic pole, but as it's the old sleigh, we should allow a drift margin of 1,000 miles outside the Greenwich meridian. I put a sweater for Steve, Peggy’s pills, and some nice, sweet tea.”

Howard and Jarvis proceeded to board the S1 and head to the bridge. Howard looked at the array of buttons and monitors in front of him. He didn’t have a clue where to start. He started pressing the biggest buttons randomly, prompting the screens to come to life and the engines to whirr. He touched the steering controls gingerly and was rewarded with a bump and a crash but no movement from the S1.  
  
Tony heard the commotion and looked out his window to see the S1 with lights blazing lurching about its docking bay. This was intolerable! He grabbed his Santa coat from where it had been waiting in his closet, so sure that this was his year, the year his father finally realised he was ready to take over the family business and prove himself. “S-1 dented.” He muttered as he ran.  
  
“Sir!” Pepper cried out after him as he ran up to the secure blast doors and found a note suck to it. He grabbed it and slid under the rapidly closing doors. Somehow the old idiot had managed to initiate launch protocols while leaving the hand break on!  
“Scratch down side. "Popped out to take present" "Turkey sandwich in fridge. Jarvis and Dad" Espresso machine broken. Idiot Steve! Send everyone crazy! He'll destroy Christmas! And you'll never get to be Santa!”  
  
He burst onto the bridge of the S1.  
  
“Tony! I, um...” Howard shuffled his feet, embarrassed at having been caught out. He glanced back to the monitor he had been trying to set a course on and saw “Trelew.” He tapped the button at the top and the computer took over plotting the route.  
  
“Really, Howard, there's no harm in using a manual. Men...” Jarvis reached over, manual in one hand, and pressed a series of buttons that caused the helicarrier to right itself from the slightly drunken angle it had been resting at.  
  
“Jarvis, I order you to disembark. It's not safe.” Howard tried to summon his authority while Agitatedly pressing buttons, levers and knobs all over the bridge causing the S-1 to rock and sway violently.  
  
“Piffle. I did a microlight flying course on the Internet. It can't be that different.”Jarvis finally noticed Tony standing behind them on the bridge, bright red with rage. “Oh. Tony.”  
  
“You dented it! You take it out without asking!” Tony cried out, throwing his hands up in disgust.  
  
“Howard! You told me he knew! You know how Tony feels about his S-1.” Jarvis scolded.  
  
“My S-1! "S" for Santa! I'm flying to this child!” Howard defended.  
  
“She's all that matters! Not me, your son! Not the 2 billion things I did right tonight! No.” Tony had always respected that his father was Santa and that he had responsibilities but he had had years and years of being ignored. Never good enough, never special enough. What attention his father had went to Steve, whio was always sick, always in trouble. Tony got ignored. He pushed himself to create bigger and better inventions to revolutionise the Christmas operation but his father never noticed. Never cared.

“This is about that pool table, isn't it? I told you, you should have written to me.”  
  
“I was eight! You're my dad!”  
  
Jarvis had had enough. “For goodness' sake! Steve and Peggy are out there probably not wearing nearly enough layers, and you two are bickering over a big, red toy!”  
Howard was taken aback. Shocked that Jarvis had not taken his side. “I... I'm not bickering. If Tony could just stand back...” He reached over and tapped a few random buttons, trying to project and air of competence again and regain his authority. OOF!” He was hit in the midsection with a rapidly deployed air bag.  
  
_Air bag._ The AI helpfully informed.  
  
Howard picked himself up from the floor with as much dignity as he could muster and stepped to one side. “You drive, Tony.” He waved to the console at the front, chagrined.  
  
“Thank you. So, since gift delivery to child 47785BXK is all that seems to matter, I'll do it myself. Then we'll pick up Steve and Peggy from whatever ditch they've ended up in.” Tony competently hit a series of buttons, twised a lever and the S1 gracefully rose into the air with a seamless whisper and took off down the hangar tunnel and into the cold Christmas night.   
  
_Maximum thrust._

“Um... when Santa said he'd be right back... what do you think he'd, um...” The elves stood where Santa had left them, idly shuffling a bit as they waited. They looked amongst themselves for any idea of what to do when the S1 shot out and across the ice caps. Panic broke out.  
“He's not coming back!”  
“The Santas are leaving!”  
“The children don't matter?”  
“Christmas doesn't matter!”  
“Nothing, matters!”  
“It's like 1816!”  
“Abandon the North Pole! - Everybody panic!”  
  
_Are you sure you want to delete Christmas?_  
_Meltdown: 10 minutes._

______________________________________  
  
Peggy guided the sleigh higher and higher into the sky, clouds falling away behind them. She popped open a cupboard and pulled out air masks and handed them to the occupants of the sleigh. “I know where we can find a map, lad. It's a bit risky, this. Breaking the rules, even in the old days! There: Biggest map in the world!” They floated high above the atmosphere as the world tuned below them. There, all picked out in twinkling lights were the countries of the earth, all lit up for everyone to see. She picked her spot, aimed towards Europe and shot back downwards, hurtling towards the small finger of light that was Cornwall, England.

_________________________  
  
Commander Fury stood before the screens displaying the World Security Council arms bracked behind him, an imposing look upon his face as he gravely intoned. “Friends,on this night of peace, we stand confronted by an unknown danger: aliens. Aliens from space.”  
  
The men and women on the screens all began to talk at once.  
“Maybe the aliens come in peace?”  
“They burst an inflatable Santa Claus in Toronto, on Christmas night!”  
  
Fury held up his hands to quiet them and spoke. “Let us attempt contact, but be ready to save our planet!”  
He marched into his situation room where the unknown object was displayed on the screen, radars tracking it as it went.  
  
“Coming down through the atmosphere, sir. We'll see it any minute.”  
“We have visual. Here it comes!”

_________________________

“Hold tight, lad! This is where it gets really rough” Peggy braced herself on the dashboard of the sleigh as the hurtled towards the earth. They lost another reindeer, they were down to one. Her old reindeer jostled into her side from his place beside her. “Not now, you sack of antlers!”  
  
“They'll be waiting for us, sir. We were on the news!” Bucky spoke up from the back seat where he was clinging on for dear life as the sleigh lurched through the sky at a terrifying speed.  
  
“All their technology, against my Angie!”  
  
“Well, come on! Let's do it with worry!” Steve tried to cheer his companions up.  
  
“Santa mustn't be seen, eh, lad? Let's give them something to shoot at!” Peggy grinned manically and pulled the camouflage lever to turn the sleigh into a flying saucer. “Take us to your leader! Ha, ha! England! No sign of anyone” The soared over the cliffs and headed inland, they were going to make it. But then disaster struck. With a jolt the final reindeer broke free. The sleigh sailing on on its own momentum. The occupants looked at each other in fear, there was no way they were going to make it. Peggy’s old reindeer lurched to his feet and lunged towards the front of the sleigh. He was old but he still had it in him! He grabbed a hold of the flying traces with his mouth and tugged. They were still flying. Only one decrepit reindeer in a fake UFO but they were still going. They could do this! To the east a pale rosey light started to seep over the hozizon.  
  
“The sun's coming up!” cried Bucky in alarm.  
  
“Come on, lad! You can do it!” Peggy urged their ancient reindeer onwards.

______________________________

In the military head quarters things were getting tense. All communications channels were being tried to communicate with this unknown threat that was threatening Christmas.  
  
“Mankind greets you. Do you copy? Season's greetings from mankind. Good morning. Do you copy?”  
  
Scans were being reviewed and tests coming back through their monitors.  
  
“The hull is some kind of woody substance, ma'am. Like... wood. Coated in lead paint!”  
  
“Yet, it seems to be alive. And furry!”  
  
“I have something. It's very faint, but...”

_______________________________

 

“Come on, lad. Put your back into it!” Peggy urged the decrepit reindeer onwards but it was no good, he was slowing down and the sun was creeping higher over the horizon. Steve seized upon an idea and started singing as they flew low over the snow covered fields below, the others joining in merrily.  
  
“# Dashing through the snow  
# On a one-horse open sleigh  
# Over the fields we go  
# Laughing all the way  
Ha! Ha! Ha!##”  
____________________________

  
“Unidentified varnished object, turn back, or we will shoot.” Fury took over the radio but there was still no response, the strange flying object continued on unhindered across the south of England. “Scramble drone.” He ordered.  
  
“They're firing on us! A death ray, - made of chocolate and... - oranges.”  
  
“Fire missiles.”  
_________________________

“We made it!” They could see Trelew ahead of them nestled amongst the hills.  
  
“Not quite! Dash!” Peggy gave the reindeer one last crack of the reins to urge him on as a drone appeared behind them, right on their tail.  
  
“It's tracking something electronic!” Bucky cried as he could see the drone following their every move.  
  
“We haven't got any elec-trickery! Just wood and brass!” Peggy cried out in alarm. They were so close to their goal.  
  
Bucky frantically searched around the sleigh to see what could have given them away. “Your slipper!” He pointed to Steve’s one remaining slipper, googly eyes still blinking merrily.  
  
“We've got to get you down there, lad!” Peggy called out over the wind.  
  
“They'll see us! We'll be stopped!” Steve peered ahead trying to see whether they were waiting for them in the village.  
  
“Give me that!” Peggy grabbed for Steve’s slipper and taped it firmly to the dashboard of the sleigh.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“It's Angie they're after. She doesn't fit this world, Steve. She's a relic. Angie? I always knew she'd  be needed one more time. You go on. We'll let them have her.”  
  
“You're coming, too?”  
  
“You were right, Steve. It doesn't matter how Santa's gift gets there. Doesn't even matter if it's Mr. Postman in his spaceship. As long as it gets there. You made it happen, lad. No one got left out. Get 'er off. Now, do as I say!” Peggy waited, guiding the reindeer in lower and closer to the village. When she saw a likely looking snow bank coming up she pushed Steve over the side of the sleigh. “Go! In Santa we believe! Go on, elf. You, too.” And Bucky leapt out of the sleigh after Steve.  
  
“This is it, old fella. Maybe the next Santa never sat in my Angie, but Steve did, and he's as good a man as any Santa there's ever been. Goodbye, Angie.” Peggy stood tall, gave one last salute, and followed them over the side as the missiles finally impacted on the wooden sleigh.

_____________________________  
  
“Thank you, everyone. You've just saved Christmas.” Intoned Commander Fury.


	6. Chapter 6

The S1 came to a halt, hovering over the town below, camouflage projecting an ininterrupted starry sky to the residents below.  
  
_Trelew._  
  
Tony grabbed his suit coat and marhed out the door leaving Jarvis and Howard standing on the ship’s bridge.  
  
“Out with the old, in with the new.” Sighed Howard. He knew he would have to let Tony take over one day but he just hadn’t been ready for that. He could still do this, he could still be Santa. But times had changed and they had left him behind.  
  
“Well done, sir.” Jarvis laid a comforting hand on Howard’s shoulder.  
  
“Poor Steve. He tried so hard. He's flunked again.” Howard mused as Tony descended to the streets below, pristinely wrapped bicycle in hand.  
  
“Of course he hasn't, dear. We're here. The little girl will get her present. I think he's done rather splendidly.”

Tony rapped smartly on the door and looked down at his clip board. “Good morning, Gwen. Ho, ho, etc. Apologies for the minor delay. I'm sure that even a child can understand that in an operation as complex as Christmas, there's always an insignificant margin of error. Which is you. As a gesture, I've upgraded you to the Glamafast Ultra X-3, which retails at $9.99 more than your requsted gift. Bigger, ergo better. If you'll mind just signing a legal waiver.” He finally looked up and thrust the clipboard forward only to be faced with…  
  
“No lo entiendo, seor. Soy Pedro.” A small boy stood at the door in front of him, tiny dog standing at his side.  
  
“Pedro? A boy?”  
  
“Quien es usted?” The child reached for the gift, grabbing it with both hands and holding on tight  
  
“A Spanish boy. This is an error. Uh... No hablo espaol. Will you... No, no no. Please don't cry. No cry-o.” Tony grappled with the child, trying to prise his fingers off the gift.  
  
“Papa!”

________________________________________  
  
Bucky and Steve had landed in the snow bank, the bicycle’s wrapping in tatters. They were cold, they were wet and Steve was only in his socks.  
  
“It's over a mile! We've got no sleigh, no reindeer, and you can't even walk!” Bucky clutched at his head, they were so close but how on earth were they supposed to complete this mission? They had no resources! “What are you doing?” Steve stood up and  ripped the last remaining scraps of paper from the bicycle and kicked the stabilisers into place.  
  
“I can cycle.”  
  
“Hey! Come back! What about the wrapping?!” Bucky charged after him as he cycled down the hill and into the village.  
  
“Church! She lives by the church!” Steve hollered as he steered the bicycle in that direction, slipping and sliding across the ice and snow.  
  
Peggy lay on the ground, the stuffing knocked out of her. The ground was hard, the air was cool. “Come back!” She gasped “Oh, my head. Yea-baubles, a beautiful young reindeer!” A large, smelly, wet tongue licked her in the face as the sat up. “Ah. So, who am I, then?”  
________________

Mission control was in chaos, papers flew all around as elves scurried between their stations with no one in charge they simply couldn’t cope any more.  
  
_Meltdown: 10 seconds._  
  
Suddenly one one of the far screens and elf noticed an image rapidly moving. “What the...? Look, everyone! It's Steve! He's delivering the present!”  
  
“It's Steve!”  
“Steve!”  
  
_Meltdown: Paused._

____________________________________

Tony stumbled back into the bridge of the S1, shocked that such a small child had put up such a fight. “Gah! Okay, so, I'm not great with children. Does that make me a bad Santa? You're hardly perfect. Let me guess: You put in the address, you saw a list of Trelews, and just clicked on the first one? You're just like Steve!”  
  
“Am I?” Howard was actually quite pleased about that. It was possibly the nicest thing Tony had said to him recently.  
  
The worried face of an elf appeared on the screen on the bridge.  
  
“North Pole incoming. Sir, the soldiers have shot the sleigh! But, sir, it's Steve. He's still going.” Behind the elf in the control centre the elves had crowded around watching the coverage as Steve made his perilous way thought he icy streets on the bicycle, all chanting his name.  
  
“Steve! Steve! Steve! Steve!”

____________________________________________

Bucky finally caught up with Steve as he frantically pedalled up a small hill and leapt on to his back. “No one gets an unwrapped present on my watch!” He pulled out a roll of paper and his tape gun. “Three bits of sticky tape. Three! Stand up!” Steve stood up in the pedals as Bucky swung around the bicycle as it moved wrapping the body of the bike as he went.

“The church!” Steve pointed as they rounded a corner and the church was right ahead of them, nearly throwing them off balance.“Whoa! Whoa!”

Bucky reached to do the pedals next, “Right foot!” then the other side, “Left foot!”

Steve sighted the little street they were aiming for. “There it is!”

“One!” Bucky slapped down the first piece of sticky tape. “Hands up!” He wrapped the handle bars.

“Aaahh! Whoa! Whoa!” Steve just kept frantically moving. “We're nearly there!”

“Front wheel!” Steve flipped the bike up to rest on the back wheel.

“Two!” The second piece of sticky tape went in place.

“Yes! That's it, there!” They were just outside the house.

“Back wheel! Ready?”

“Do it!”

“Here we go!” Steve and Bucky leapt off the bicycle, grabbed it from mid air and Bucky wrapped the final piece of the bike as they flew through the air.

“Waaaaaaahhhhh!!!!”

“Three!” The final piece of sticky tape sealed the wrapping in place but it had cost Bucky, he couldn’t catch himself in time and ploughed straight into a tree.

“Elf down.” Gasped Bucky from a heap in the snow.

“Bucky?” Steve paused, he couldn’t leave his friend behind.

“Go on, Steve. Quick!” Bucky tried to shove him away.

“There's always time for a bow.” Steve reached down and took the bow Bucky had been clutching ready and gently pressed it to the present. He stood up, ready to move toward the house when the sun slipped fully over the horizon and the day dawned bright and clear.

“No... We can't be too late...So unfair.”

As quickly as it came the light disappeared, a huge shadow sailing across the sun and casting the village back into darkness. A small speck of light blazed and Howard and Tony descended from the S1.

“Dad! You came! I knew you would! You wouldn't just go to bed and forget Gwen. You're Santa!” Steve flung his arms around his Dad, overjoyed to see him.

“Give me that!” Peggy snuck up from out of nowhere and grabbed for the present.

“I'm Santa!” Howard cried.

Tony grabbed for the present too, “I'm delivering it!”

“Don't be silly! I'm Santa. Can't you see for me suit?” Sniggered Peggy, gesturing to her dirt, torn red coat.

“I am actually Santa” insisted Howard, lifting the present over their heads,“but I think it would be best to...” Tony and Peggy started to scrap, both snatching at the present.

“I'm Santa!”

“You hand it over!”

“You said I could drive!”

“I'm Santa, you naughty boys. Here: Have a bon-bon.” Peggy whacked Tony on the head with her stick.

“Ssshhhh... It's Christmas! Please! Gwen just has to have a present from Santa!” Steve begged his family to calm down. They all paused in their fighting, seeing Steve stood there fretfully.

Howard held the bike out to Steve, “You do it, Steve.”

Steve took the gift and together they crept towards the house and carefully climbed in through the window. Steve grinned, his joy clear to see on his face as he took in the festive scene inside. There were decorations everywhere, the tree lights twinkling away. He crept toward the tree and placed the bike lovingly beneath its boughs. The final touch, a gift tag “From Santa” and a red ribbon trailing up the stairs to Gwen’s stocking that had been carefully hung on the end of her bed. He left the room just as the little girl began to stir. In moments she was fully awake as Steve, Tony, Howard and Peggy all hid away from the family.

“Mummy! Daddy! Wake up! There's a present! Come downstairs!”

Howard gazed lovingly around him at his family squished into their hiding place and whispered, his voice shaking with emotion, “Merry... Christmas... everyone...” He had never been the father he should have been to his boys and he never had listened to Peggy’s advice. He should have made more time for them. He should have spent more time with Tony and his inventions and told him how proud he was of him. He shouldn’t have let Steve’s health issues get in the way of their relationship, he was capable of so much more than he had ever been able to see. Howard had held them both back. He resolved to do better as he and the others snuck towards the open window.

“Dad! Wait! Please! It’s...” Steve gestured towards the small crack in the door where they could just make out the family coming downstairs.

“Oh. In all my years, I never actually... Always so busy... Too busy...I'm not good at...In my day, a pat on the back, and a walnut, went a long way.” Howard trailed off, embarrassed.

“Mummy! Daddy! Come on! Dad! I heard something downstairs! I think it's under the tree! Oh! What is it? I can see pink! It's a bike! Santa brought me the bike I wanted! Oh, can I have a go? Please? Please? Please?”

Howard pulled the Santa game piece from his pocket and stared at it, looking for the answer he felt was right. He turned towards Tony and whispered in his ear as he watched the look of delight on Steve’s face. He was enraptured seeing first hand the magic that Christmas brought to a child’s life. He had made the effort to get the present here for this little girl so she could have this magical Christmas when no one else had cared.  
“Tony, you deserve to be Santa. But, Tony, I wonder... if Gwen... is right.” The family turned and stared out at the other family scene unfolding in the living room as Gwen rode her new bicycle about the room.

“Oh! Watch out! Beep, beep! Careful! I'm going to bump into you!

Tony nodded in understanding. Howard was right, may be he wasn’t cut out to be Santa but anyone could see that Steve was made for the role. He truly cared about every single child. For him, each and every one was worth the effort. “I'll... be the candle, eh?”

Peggy looked fondly upon all her boys, together for once. “Ah. Whoopee.”

Howard sniffed lightly, suddenly overcome with emotion, despite his faults he couldn’t be prouder of his two sons. “You're better men than... The both of you.” He broke off, gathering them into a hug.

Bucky stood outside the house, watching the touching scene. He lifted the HOHO and spoke into the camera, beaming back to the North Pole over the public address system. “Drop complete, and we have a new Santa!” He panned the camera round to show Steve climbing out the window, followed by the rest of his family.

Back at the North Pole Pepper turned to the elf next to him. “You know, I've always liked Steve. You think he likes espresso?” The L.E.D. Display above the Mainframe in Mission Control switches to green and shows 0000000000.

_Christmas accomplished. Commence decking halls._

_And may 100% of your Christmases be white._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my first, and in probability last, fic. Even with the plot and dialogue already written for me I found this a real challenge so thank you so much to all you lovely writers who bring so much joy with your works! 
> 
> MERRY CHRISTMAS!


End file.
